Sides Read online

little stout) and hair receded guy that was his brother. He gave a wave and his brother gave the traditional slow upward nod in reply, but he smiled.

  “How’s she goin?” the brother said as Conor approached.

  “Everything’s fine Sean, good to see you.” He couldn’t help laughing inside. ‘She’ was used to refer to everything in life, except women. ‘She’ meant the car, the tractor, pretty much everything in life that was essential to surviving, essential. For women, ‘yer one’ was the more common phrase.

  There was no handshake or hug, but Sean did grab the handle of Conor’s bag and struggle, finally yanking it from his grip as if to indicate that it was his job, he was looking after his brother now. Conor smiled.

  “Any news?” asked Conor.

  “Oh the usual. Bust the fuel pump on the 165 yesterday and there’s still ten acres of silage to be done,” Sean gave a slight glance towards Conor as if to say his driving duties for drawing the silage was already assigned

  “Great, we’ll be busy then,” he responded. He suddenly felt a great urge to be sitting on a tractor, rushing under pressure to get as much done while there was light.

  The drive to the village wasn’t long and as before on the train, Conor stared out the window, watching every hedge, gate, stone wall and finally the small cottages of the village as his eyes darted back and forth taking it all in. But there was one house, one window in particularly he longed to see. They were approaching ‘The Meadows’ now. A wonderfully old two story house at the end of the main street. He felt that tingle again now.

  “How long you staying?” asked Sean suddenly.

  “Eh, not sure,” responded Conor a little irritated.

  The entrance to the house was somewhat concealed with a wonderfully tall leylandii hedge, only broken in the middle by a small pedestrian archway filled with a light blue painted gate. The hedge completely obscured the lower part of the house but the upstairs was sitting above it and he looked hard at the last window, small, with a cross hair wooden frame, painted white. He smiled. There she was, sitting inside on the deep windowsill they had often both shared. She had been reading as usual, he guessed, but as they passed she looked out and the most beautiful white smile rushed forward through a frame of red curls and he gasped.

  “What?” asked Sean.

  She tilted her head as the car went by and he strained to look back.

  “Do you have to drive so fast?” he asked Sean.

  “Fast? My Honda 50 can go faster than this heap of junk, I’m struggling to do 40.”

  “Is this thing taxed and insured?” Conor suddenly started to look around inside the car.

  “We don’t use it much, da’s gone to town so I had to take this.”

  Conor frowned, “I don’t think not using it much counts.”

  “Sure the Sergeant knows the run-arounds, there’s no issue.”

  After bumping up the narrow lane-way, they were finally in the farm yard and before he knew it Sean had already left the car and was walking to the house with his bag. He sat there for a while looking at the old house, he loved it.

  Their mother was standing at the door with her hands to her mouth in prayer-like shape and a big tearful smile on her face. He got out and went to her.

  “Thank God you’re here, it’s wonderful.”

  “Great to be back for a while Mam.”

  Over the tea table the questions were being fired.

  “How are you now? Is all Ok? What did the doctors say? Your employers are great, aren’t they?”

  “Look, I’m fine. They say it was just a bit too much stress.”

  Conor felt the eyes to heaven gesture from Sean, stress.

  “And yes, the company is good, I can go back when ready.”

  “Not for a while, it’s been five years since you’ve been home!” said mother.

  “I know, I want to go down the village soon, see a few things, I’ve missed the place really badly, missed quite a few people!”

  His mother looked to Sean, “Do you hear him. Suppose you didn’t tell him about his duties what with the cut and all?”

  “I know about the silage, and I’ll do my bit looking forward to it! Just want to go see a few things, people?”

  He smiled and shook his head at his mother. She frowned a little and looked towards Sean again.

  “You didn’t think I was going to come here and not want to head off and pay a visit to Kirwans?”

  “Well maybe in a day or so, there’s things to be done,” replied his mother.

  “A day or so? She’ll kill me. Sure she saw me driving by, if I don’t go down and say hello there’ll be war!”

  “What? She saw you? When?”

  “As we went by ‘The Meadows’, She was in the window as always.”

  Sean looked at his mother.

  “Conor, you know that’s not true. Rachel’s gone. The accident. You know, she didn’t survive.”

  Tears started coming to Conor’s eyes. In the hospital they had talked about this. Five years previously as they left the village together that wet windy night the car had left the road, a flash flood.

  “But I saw her, she was smiling.”

  “You’re tired, the doctors said this would be the way. Come now, time to lie down and I have to sort these pills out,” he heard his mother say and as he drifted into a distant place he felt a soft young hand take his gently.

  A tear came to Sean’s eye as he watched his big brother being led away.

  “You’re home now son, everything will be ok,” his mother said.

  Come to say Hello

  Micheal was staring at the wooden plank. He could still hear all the sounds around him, but stared. He was afraid of heights but two or three feet wasnt really an issue.

  “Are you coming to see the horses or not?” asked Sarah

  “I can see them from here,” he replied.

  She grunted, punched fists in the air and walked away.

  It was a ditch, small trickle of water running beneath and a plank of wood across it. He’d been down to watch the horses for the past two months since they arrived. Of any, he deserved to be there beside them. Looking at the others he knew they were spooking them, he could tell. The grey one stayed high in the field and seemed to be staring at him as if he’d brought this on.

  “You look sad,” she said.

  “What?” he hadn’t seen her standing there.

  “Don’t you like horses?”

  “Of course, it was me that said we should come and see them.”

  “You look sad.”

  “Em, I’m not sad. Anyway who are you with, what’s your name?”

  “Em, I mean Emma, but people call me Em!”

  “Right, you wanna go into the field?”

  “No, I’m happy here.”

  “The horses, they look good ye?”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Oh, right, bar-b-que is due to be fired up soon!”

  “Do you like it here?” she asked.

  “Of course, that’s why I moved here. Where do you live?”

  “I like the fact that you have loads of grass behind the house, I mean fields, space, and right across to the hill!”

  “Yep, that’s one of the things that drew me here.”

  “Over there,” she pointed, “thats where you could put a small play area, swings, slide, you know?”

  He followed her gaze.

  “Well yes, that would work, I mean there is the space of course.”

  There was silence. She seemed to be staring at the house and garden, planning how things could look. He watched her eyes, wishing he could see what she saw and what the thoughts were behind them.

  “Sarah,” she said suddenly.

  “What?”

  “You asked me who I was with, Sarah.”

  “Oh, yes of course I forgot.”

  She smiled, she seemed very young, much younger than anyone else who had arrived. He didn’t remember children being on the list. He felt awkward. But
he sensed good things from her. She had wonderful hair, long, with a slightly red hue. Her eyes absorbed every scene that was great around him and she tapped her sandled foot left and right in time with her sideways nods as if she was content to stay there for the whole day.

  “Not sure Sarah mentioned you’d be here, who else did you come with?”

  “Why do you like horses?” she asked.

  He stepped back as if someone had cut across him.

  “Em, don’t know. They come here every year, they just look so majestic, the colours, and when they gallop, what can you say?”

  “I love the way you say my name.”

  He looked at her. She had an amazing smile and her eyes seemed to hold him. Even if he wanted to try and change the topic he couldn’t. He could hear the horses getting unsettled behind him, but just couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  She reached out and turned her hand so it was open, palm up. He felt nervous, suddenly he could feel the heat on his neck and his legs felt a little like jelly. He raised his hand and reached out towards her, gently placing his palm on hers.

  It was like he had touched an open power line. Heat rushed up his arm, across his shoulder and through his neck, he smiled.

  “I know you!” he said.

  She smiled, “Of course. And you’ll be great, I promise. ”

  “Michael! Michael! Hello!” he heard the shouts from behind him.

  He turned and looked across the ditch.

  “Come on, I want you here,” shouted Sarah.

  He suddenly felt a massive need to be with her and quickly crossed the ditch.

  “Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve seen you move in a while!!”

  “Is everything ok?”

  “Yes, of course, I just wanted to talk to you, to tell you something, here, in this field, where your beloved horses are!”

  “I wish they were mine.”

  “I know, but we can pretend!”

  He smiled. Suddenly he