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growl and barking that led to the chase, had been to get somewhere the dog wouldn’t continue his pursuit.

  He slowly glanced around, always conscious that the dog was indicating he wished the shorts were actually Peter. It was all quiet. Of course Peter forgot that his father-in-law always let Cuddles out when the family were away for the day. Clearly they forgot that he wasn’t joining them on the shopping excursion.

  Originally he had felt sorry for the dog having been inflicted with such an unsuitable name, now he just remembered how much he hated guard dog style breeds.

  Suddenly the side gate started to bang and Cuddles sprung into action. Peter seized his moment and, a little slower than he had hoped as his blood started to circulate again, he plunged for the far side of the pool and leaped out. Leaped might be an overstatement, he tended to do that.

  Cuddles had secured the other distraction and was conscious that the main task in hand was now on the loose. He came bounding back, halting for a moment as Peters milk white naked body startled him somewhat, demonstrated a strange human like expression that seemed to suggest, “boy, what does she see in you?” and then proceeded to pursue.

  Peter made it to the monkey tree in the corner and climbed up. This was better he thought, it was a lovely sunny afternoon and he was starting to warm up as he dried. He decided to show Cuddles two fingers in celebration and proceeded to do some strange primitive wiggling dance among the branches that seemed like a good idea at the time.

  He was somewhat puzzled by the look Cuddles was giving him and almost sensed a smile. It was at that point he realised that he wasn’t the only one gasping after his energetic sprint and dance routine. Next door to the in-laws was a convent, and the monkey tree overlooked the allotment.

  He laughed nervously as he slowly waived to the nuns who had stopped working.

  “Lovely day isn’t it sisters?

  They promptly dropped their gardening utensils and scurried off towards the main building. Peter did notice one kept looking back and seemed slower than the rest. He smiled and waved.

  “Sister Michael, come in at once,” called one of the other nuns, as the slower nun seemed to wave a mobile phone frantically in his direction.

  “Well, this is interesting!” said his father-in-law from the base of the tree. “Not sure they’ve seen that display since Cathy’s second boyfriend and Cuddles’ mother was around!”

  Peter nodded slowly wondering how long more he had to endure this.

  “Cathy just wanted me to check and see if you definitely didn’t want to come with us?”

  “Actually I might take you up on that,” replied Peter.

  “Ok, we’ll be waiting in the car outside, come on Cuddles, go on quick dip in the pool first!”

  And with that Cuddles leapt into the pool, swam a length and jumped out the far end. Peter watched and was certain Cuddles looked back and gave one of those smiles again!

  “Oh, he can climb too, when he’s in the mood” said his father-in-law.

  Peter laughed nervously.

  Once they’d gone he gingerly climbed down and made his way back to the house, glancing at the shreds that were once his shorts.

  “Sister Michael!” he heard from over the wall, “get down from that ladder immediately.

  Peter opened the back door, stepped in, closed it and with his back to it, sighed deeply. When he opened his eyes he was still smiling at the whole incident.

  “I just came back in to get an extra shopping bag,” said his mother-in-law, “we recycle when we can you know.” She gave a nervous laugh as she quickly scanned him.

  “I was very hot,” he said. With this he stood up straight, nodded, walked passed his mother-in-law as if marching to attention, and walked out of the kitchen.

  As he entered the hall he passed his wife who was standing with her mouth wide open.

  “Ah, Cathy my dear if you’re looking for your mother she’s in the kitchen, shopping’s off, I’m going upstairs to stand at the bedroom window for Sister Michael!”

  The Devine Office

  “Father?”

  The old short woman said politely and waited.

  “Father?” this time a little louder. Her folded arms tensing a little.

  “Father!” she shouted, brow furrowed, lips now pursed concealing clenched teeth.

  “What?, what? what’s wrong?” the priest jumped to his feet knocking over the pew he was kneeling at.

  “I’ve been calling you Father Macken, the Butler’s here to see you.”

  “Oh Mrs Sullivan, em, I was in the middle of my Divine Office”

  The old lady looked at him, then slowly moved her head to the left and her eyes even further, then back.

  “We’re in the Church, Father.”

  “My Devine Office, part of my daily prayers. It’s a time, several times a day, when I have solitude and can pray direct to God. Didn’t Father Cullen perform Devine Office during the day?”

  She shrugged her shoulders and started to turn away.

  “Hhhm!, We were lucky if Father Cullen managed to perform Mass,” she said as she started to move back towards the sacristy.

  “What was it you wanted?” called Father Macken.

  “The Butler’s here, he wants you. He’s outside the back door of the sacristy, better off there too.”

  He looked puzzled and made his way behind the altar and through the narrow wooden door. As he reached the end of the corridor he glanced through the small window to the side of the back door and saw an elderly man wearing what looked like a suit from a wedding some years back and never cleaned.

  “That’s Mr Callaghan, isn’t it?”

  “The Butler, he’ll be looking for something, he always is. I’m off now Father, have to pick up my grandchildren.”

  “Very good Mrs Sullivan, you can show Mr Callaghan in on the way thanks.”

  “He knows how to open the door,” she said as she left.

  The Butler was already pushing himself passed her. She tipped her nose skyward for more than one reason and rushed off down the side exit to the main street.

  “Ah, Father, how are you, welcome to the parish,” said the Butler.

  “Mr Callaghan, thank you, come in, come in.”

  “Butler, Butler, that’s what they call me here.”

  “Yes of course, so many people seem to have nick-names, hard to keep track.”

  “Ah well, it’s easier that way. I mean there’s me, then there’s Shayme Callaghan, then Seamus Callaghan, Shay Callaghan, the other Shayme, Seamus and Jimmy.”

  Father Macken nodded slowly, “I see, and what’s your first name then?”

  “Peter.”

  “Oh, ok then, Butler, what can I do for you?”

  “Well it’s the other way around Father. You see I used to do a few odd jobs around the sacristy for Father Cullen. You know, when he’d be getting ready for the Mass and that, I’d make sure all the silver stuff was nice and shiny and I’d get the cloths together for him and then when it was time I’d get the wine from, well, over there where it was kept locked. He was normally saying his prayers and that so he found me a big help you know.”

  “I see. Interesting, I didn’t think he said Devine Office.”

  “The wine office? It’s over here,” said Butler pointing to the small door in the corner.

  “No, no, his prayers.”

  “Oh yes, Father Cullen, his prayers, very important, always praying. Used to sit there with his eyes closed, head tilted back toward heaven for hours.”

  Father Macken looked puzzled, “Wine Office?” he looked toward the small door.

  “Anyway, I’ll set to work then Father will I?”

  “Well, there isn’t really much to do, I think Mrs Sullivan has polished the chalices.”

  “Ah she might alright, she might. I’ll just make sure everything else is ok. You pray away there Father, I know what to do.”

  “Ok, then I need to go out to the altar just to check a few things.”

&n
bsp; “A bit nervous Father ye? First day on the job and all that? I mean here that is, in the new parish,” Butler had more of a teeth displaying grin than a smile and he was squinting.

  “Of course not, I’m looking forward to meeting everyone.”

  “Great, great, that’s great now, everything’ll be fine, just the keys then Father,” he said with his hand outstretched.

  “Keys?”

  “Oh, yes, so I can sort things while you’re getting ready, we have to get ready now, yes?”

  “Of course yes, here I’ll just be out in the Church.”

  “Yes, yes, that’s fine, off you go, thank you,” Butler dismissed Father Macken and closed the door after him.

  Father Macken thought he heard a muffled “whoop” as he walked away.

  He moved through the church, checking everything was in order. Candles looked ok, leaflets and papers were tidied and when he reached the end of the church he looked back towards the altar to see how it all looked. He was pleased and so looking forward to his first mass here. He stepped forward and sat into a pew.

  Father Macken slipped into one of his peaceful trances and didn’t notice the time slip by. He felt the light tapping on his shoulder and looked to the side. A small boy was standing on the pew beside him.

  “You the priest?”

  “Yes, that’s right, what can I do for you?”

  “Granny told me to get you, Butlers in the wine office.”

  “Sorry? Your granny?”

  “She says you have to go to the sacristy, the Butler’s been in the wine office.”

  Father Macken smiled, but the little boy just kept staring at him. He had a blank expression on his freckled face.

  “She says he’s hit four bottles at least and she can’t get him up off the floor.”

  As he slowly